So it's been a while. Life is good. Work sucks, things are hectic, treatments are over, tamoxifen side effects drive me crazy, but I've reached somewhat of the next milestone and boy oh boy am I clad to be here! No more hard as a rock, get in the way, make my arm fall off tissue expanders! Surgery went well, pain is like the last time around and percocet is not my best friend right now, it touches the pain, but I haven't been able to get any real sleep since I got home. A couple hours here and there and that's it. Plus I want to be able to get up and do things, it's only been two days and I'm bored. I wanna go shopping, go play in the park, go do something! But getting up out of bed hurts like hell! I hate being down, it makes me just wanna get up and get active. Funny thing is that when I'm up, I just wanna be able to slow down and get some rest.
I guess I'm to the point where I really feel like I should be back to normal and back on top of my game and I'm not. I wake up and two hours later, I want to go back to sleep and a couple hours after that, I feel like I'm not going to be able to keep myself awake. It's hard working full time and always feeling like you're going to pass out from exhaustion. Sigh. Then I think about the fact that I have to take tamoxifen for five years and wonder how long the side effects I'm suffering now are going to last. Am I going to have five years of not feeling like myself, of medication getting in the way of life? I mean how do you stay optimistic if you don't know the duration.
Anyhow, finally I have a soft chest again! Yay! It was funny though, I didn't even think to feel the difference until well after I was home and then it just hit me, I don't have rocks in my ches anymore! Woo hoo! I have drains though and hope they finish serving their purpose real soon. Percocet is kicking in and I can't really think straight, so I'm going to stop typing for now. Hair is growing back, wish it would grow back faster, but at least I'm cute!
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